Memories Seep From My Veins
by LittleWiziWig
Summary: Things have become complicated since Blaine's act of infidelity and haven't not spoken to him in almost a month, Kurt's driving himself insane. He wants to hate Blaine, yet he can't find the strenght to hate the only man he loves. But, when Kurt finds something of Blaine's he wasn't meant to see, he can't help but wonder what unknown pain hides behind those hazel eyes.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! So, this is my first attempt at a Fanfic. I'd really appreciate some feedback - be it a review or just constructive criticism, it'll all be graciously accepted. I love Glee, especially the Klaine pairing. I think they're adorable and I hope I've done them justice. This isn't a one-shot, by the way. I have envisioned it to be a multi-chapter fic, so please tell me if you'd like to read more of it! Oh, and thank you for reading! **

**And just so nobody is confused - this is set after the break-up. **

There are many things in life that one should be afraid of – some of those things are daily occurrences and cannot be controlled or defeated. Then there are the type of fears whose existence people are divided on yet they all agree that if they did exist, they would be best left alone and not interfered with; for example, an alien invasion, Nessie and what would happen to mankind if Rachel Berry had a twin.

A Kurt Hummel scorned falls into that category. Not many people were aware that his temper could be _that_ bad, but you can bet your bottom dollar if they did, they'd be less that inclined to offer him a shoulder to cry on. Truth be told, it wasn't very often that he got this truly, exhaustively pissed, but he could and he currently was and that was probably one of the reasons why the people he loved were more than a little cautious to approach him with sympathy and a giant heart shaped cookie. There were only two instances before that had caused him this more frustration and all out grief – the day his mother died and the first ever time he had been denounced due to his sexuality. All in all, he was pretty good when it came to controlling his anger; however, there were certain subjects that caused his anger and emotions to take on a life of their own. Blaine Anderson just happened to be one of those subjects. And Blaine Anderson cheating was _definitely_ one of those subjects.

Those very three words in the same sentence, Blaine Anderson and cheating, still didn't seem real, but unfortunately for Kurt and his heart, they were reality. It had been three and a half weeks since Blaine had surprised Kurt in New York with a bouquet of roses and an uneasy air about him. Kurt knows Blaine better than anyone - or so he thought; he knew straight away that there was something wrong. But looking back on it for what felt like the millionth time, all of the things that had flooded Kurt's mind, reasons why Blaine might have been acting strangely, all seemed so…innocent. Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine he would be standing in front of his perfect boyfriend and hearing the words, "I was with someone". It still felt like a bad dream. But it wasn't and that made the hurt all the worse.

One hundred percent of his anger wasn't levelled at Blaine though; a little more than half was aimed at himself. Blaine had cheated. He had gone behind his back and did the most heinous of crimes that a partner could commit. And Kurt knew all too well that if it were anybody else that had done that to him he would have pushed them straight out of his life and dealt with the pain and anger in a more mature and positive way, and sooner or later he would just get on with his life and start anew. But because Blaine wasn't just anybody, Kurt knew that it wasn't going to be that easy – if at all possible, if the past three weeks were anything to go by. Blaine was Blaine, his Blaine, his everything. He had been his first boyfriend, his first love; he had been his first lover. Kurt had given Blaine everything from his heart and soul, to his body and ultimate trust and he had betrayed him in ways that he couldn't express. All Kurt wanted to do was stop thinking about that and focus on moving on with his life – he was living in New York City, his dream had come true. He was working for Vogue magazine and was making a great start to life in his most beloved passion – fashion. He wanted nothing more than to let those wonderful thoughts swamp his mind but all he could think about was Blaine.

He hated himself for what he was doing to himself, but it felt like he had no control. He still slept in Blaine's shirt and he couldn't bring himself to throw away any of his belongings, although he pretended he had done so to show his family he was just fine and not the blubbering mess that he actually was. He could still hear Blaine's voice ringing in his ears – that sweet, sultry voice that sent shivers running through him. He hated to admit it, but he could still feel Blaine's touch in his sleep. The way his hands would smooth down his hips, his fingers stroking his skin with should tenderness and care; how his lips were like magnets to Kurt's most sensitive areas and how Blaine knew every movement and whisper that would reduce Kurt to putty in his hands. They weren't the touches of irrelevance or forgery; they were the touches of love and honesty. And that was undoubtedly what hurt the most - he knew Blaine loved him. That's what made him cheating should a difficult thing to comprehend. The love they had wasn't puppy love or a false esteem; it was a real heart swelling passion that Kurt didn't know could occur between two people until he met Blaine. And it wasn't like Kurt couldn't understand someone else wanting Blaine, of course he could. Blaine was incredibly handsome and sincere. His passion for the things he loved – the ones he loved, was admirable. That was one of the many reasons Kurt loved being Blaine's boyfriend, it meant that somebody else couldn't be and as cruel as that sounded, it made Kurt feel special. No one had ever looked upon him as sexy or desirable – well apart from Chandler, but that was a total mistake. Blaine made him feel wanted and appreciated. It was a feeling Kurt would never get bored of. But knowing he had cheated made that feeling turn on its head and it was beginning to work in reverse. He was beginning to feel needy and, though the thought of it still made him blush like a virgin, he was yearning for Blaine to touch him again. Somewhere, anywhere…screw that, everywhere. He wanted him more than ever and it was becoming an annoyance and a problem. And that was what lead him back to the place he had been all the past three and half weeks – hopelessness aka square one.

He couldn't face Blaine, he didn't want to and then again, he did. It was utterly confusing and it was giving him headaches and heartaches that were none too pretty. He had to come home. As great as New York was, he couldn't stay there and suffer while Rachel continued to bellow in his ear about how horrible Blaine was and how crappy relationships are and how love is so over-rated. He didn't want to be bitter, especially to Rachel – she was, after all, one of his best friends. But what Rachel and Finn had, whatever it was, it wasn't love. Heck, if Kurt knew anything about love, Rachel and Finn didn't even have a relationship. They were so on again and off again, it was a rollercoaster of chaos and it was bound to end with someone in tears. Kurt and Blaine were never on again, off again – Kurt hated that, as did Blaine. They were very much on, and although they fought and disagreed and sometimes couldn't make time for each other due to their respective commitments, they were always a couple. But Kurt needed some space and time to think about things and himself in general and the only place he felt he could do that in was home. Of course it was painful knowing that Blaine wasn't too far away and it would be easy to just get up and go find him, but he wouldn't, he promised himself he wouldn't.

It didn't help that earlier Sam had dropped off a box of Kurt's things that Blaine had placed askew in his bedroom. Sam had dropped them off to Finn at Blaine's request because, according to Sam, Blaine wasn't exactly jumping at the idea of meeting Burt and the double-barrelled end of his shotgun. Kurt had told Finn to tell Sam to tell Blaine that he didn't want to see him or have anything to do with him – though it wasn't close to the truth, he felt the need to keep his walls up. Blaine wasn't going to intervene when Kurt said no, he wasn't like that. Finn had done the brotherly thing and opted to throw the stuff away without Kurt seeing them if he wished, but Kurt refused stating it would be best if he did it, to get closure and all that. You could pretty much guess that the box of various items didn't even make it close to the trashcan. Instead it was hidden under his bed where it couldn't be found by anyone other than himself. He pulled out the scuffed up fruit crate from under his bed and began to sift through its contents. He had gone through all of this stuff almost a dozen times before, but if seemed that, as of right now at least, this was the closest he was going to get or allow himself to get to Blaine. Staring down at the various framed photographs, some from prom two years ago when Kurt had humiliatingly won prom queen surfaced from the clutter, and picking them up he began to reminisce on the night. It could have been the worst night of his life – public humiliation in front of the entire school, but thanks to his quick wit and Blaine's calm reassurance they made it a night to remember. Smiling slightly at the voice in his head, _'Why can't I dance with the person I love at my prom?'_ Back then, it had seemed as close to impossible as one can get for a gay couple to dance at the school prom, but thanks to Blaine, that had happened.

Another photograph, this time one of him in his Dalton Academy uniform poked through the bundle and Kurt's stomach flipped. This was the first photograph of Kurt that Blaine had asked to keep; and because it had special significance to him, he had made a special place for it on the right bed-side table – or as Kurt more familiarly called it, his side of the bed. He vividly remembered waking up the morning after they slept together for the first time and it being the first thing that had caught his eye.

After some time, the box was finally empty, all apart from a small stack of loose photographs and a rolled up piece of paper with an elastic band around it. Picking it up to examine it, Kurt could feel something hard hiding in the middle with the paper wrapped around it like a present. Kurt identified Blaine's elegant handwriting on the wrinkled paper immediately. Pulling the elastic band from around the paper he unfurled it unwrapping a ring box from underneath it. Straining his eyes, he tried to read the writing that had been scribbled over. He could plainly make out his name written several times. However, the rest was too difficult to read. That was until he turned the page around. Written there, again in Blaine's elegant script was a paragraph, again, starting with his name.

_"Kurt. I don't know if I tell that I love you enough, but, I do, a lot; probably too much. I thought that I could somehow find a way to make it through this year with you not being here and come out the other end stronger and more mature. But the truth is it hurts so badly. Having to wake up every morning knowing I'm not going to find you right there beside me or waiting for me in the living room or in the parking lot – it makes my days just that little bit harder. Not being able to physically touch you, see you when I want; having to schedule a time to talk to you, I don't know how much longer I can go through that without going crazy. Kurt, you give me something to believe in. I didn't know that this could be real, this feeling of needing someone so badly that it physically pains. You have given me something to work for and dream about. You have given me a future. And I want that future to be with you. I'm not perfect and I've made mistakes and I'll continue to make mistakes but I know in my heart that, as human as I am, there's something about what I have with you that is out of this world. Kurt there's one way, just one way that I'm going to get through this year…_

_I've bought the ring, now I just need an answer. Are we ready?"_

Kurt was sure his heart wasn't beating. His breath had hitched in his throat and his hands were trembling. Blaine was proposing…

"This doesn't make any sense" he whispered, a tear slowly streaking down his cheek. Wiping it away with the back of his hand, he finally realised he was holding the ring box in that hand; the box that was holding his potential engagement ring.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you all so much for the follows! **

There used to be many words to describe Blaine Anderson, happy words that brought a warmth and special kind of honesty with them. Now the only words Blaine would place beside his name were harsh and cold words like 'lonely', 'lost' and 'empty'. Stupid had become his word of the week, it seemed a suitable replacement for last weeks 'broken', which was a little too self-pitiful for his liking.

He couldn't bring himself to get out of bed. There was nothing worth getting up for. Besides, who would miss him? Nobody cared for a fraud. That's all he was -a jerk who had just gone and ruined the best damn thing he ever had.

He kept telling himself he had his reasons, but the more he recited them in his head, the more poisonous and greedy those reasons became. He had been so lonely – Kurt, his precious Kurt had gone to pursue his dreams and had to leave him behind. He knew it was going to hurt, but he had no idea that it would burn this badly.

All summer long, he and Kurt had done everything in their power to be together every moment possible. They had spent every night in bed, loving each other like tomorrow was never going to happen and every morning was spent cuddled up under the duvet, feeding each other breakfast and laughing and kissing and just being in love, and it was all so perfect. Unfortunately for Blaine, it was too perfect. He fell more in love with Kurt than before and he didn't want him to go. But he knew how much Kurt wanted – no – needed this. And he was going to do the honourable thing and tell him he had to, even if it meant that he died a little inside. He missed him more and more with each passing day. But it wasn't just because of the loneliness – there was an underbelly of fear behind the loneliness that Blaine knew shouldn't exist, but he couldn't help but feel it. He trusted Kurt with everything he had, but it wasn't a fear of betrayal – it was a fear of being forgotten. Kurt had a whole new life now, and Blaine couldn't help but feel as though he was on the outside looking in. He hated the thought of Kurt outgrowing him – in a technical sense, obviously. He could understand if it happened though. Kurt didn't need a 'still-in-high-school' tag along, he needed a man; someone who could take care of him and be his crutch when called upon.

He needed someone to cook him dinner after a long, hard days' work, to rub the knots from his back and to love the daily trials and tribulations away. Blaine couldn't do that – at least not right now. Blaine had seen the men in New York, and compared to them, he was nothing but a little boy. Kurt deserves someone as special as he was, and half of the time Blaine wondered if he was just kidding himself when he thought about their future together. Was he really ever going to get that far with Kurt in the first place? Though he loved romantic gestures, being in love and just romance in general, he struggled to remember a time where love was present in his life before Kurt sashayed into it.

For a start, his parents didn't love him that much was bang on the money. If anything, they hated him. He was the son they had raised wrong. He didn't expect them to know how to love him anyway – they couldn't even love each other. His mother was a careless, self-sympathetic drunk. She couldn't do anything, or go anywhere without a bottle in her hand. Blaine still got a sick feeling in his stomach whenever he smelt stale alcohol – it was the only thing that greeted him every morning he was a little boy. Having to hear her having sex with random men when his father was gone on business trips was the worst of all. Though she was no mother to him or his brother, barely remembering they existed at times, she _was_ still his mother and hearing the names those men would call her and the horrible way they degraded her for their own enjoyment caused an anger to bubble up inside of him that still scared him to this day. His father however, was a different kettle of fish.

While alcohol brought out some sort of emotion in this mother – be it good or bad, his father seemed as though he had no emotions whatsoever. He was a cold-hearted individual full of rage and hate. Blaine knew just by the way his father looked at him that he was disgusted by his son. He never looked at Cooper that way, but that was probably because he thought Cooper was just stupid, the village fool. Blaine was different. He got good grades in school, had a knack for learning things quickly and a passion for music that nothing could better. His father knew he was smart and perhaps that's was one the reasons why he had become to loath him so much. Perhaps his father thought that Blaine was going to become just like him and he could have something to finally be proud of. But that was never going to happen and that had become evident at a very early age. His father was a banker, a hated figure amongst the community. He was loaded and loved nothing more than frowning upon those that weren't. It was a sick and twisted passion of his, to hate the less fortunate. His father wouldn't dare help someone in need if his life depended on it, he'd rather watch them suffer. Blaine was different. He liked helping people. He got satisfaction from knowing that he was doing some good in this big, scary world. Plus, it was another way for him to distance himself from his father. And that was of the utmost importance to him, a fear that kept him awake at night – becoming the man he hated so badly, and there was one reason for that in particular.

His father was a serial cheat. Blaine would never forget coming home from school one evening, to find a stranger sitting in his father's lap – her lips red as blood, her eyes lined black as coal. Her hair was styled to perfection, not one stray hair out of place. Her petite and curved frame sat back against the arm of the chair as she peppered kisses all over his father. And all while his mother lay passed out on the couch. He was mortified, humiliated and above all else – mad as hell. He swore that for as long as he lived, he'd never dare to cause anyone that sort of pain. But, as he lay there in a cold sweat, eyes fixed on the rain falling outside of his window, he was slowly beginning to realise that he had already broken that promise – and the more he realised that, the more frightened at the prospect of what was happening to him he became.

He looked in the mirror the other night and saw an old man looking back at him. With hair slicked back and eyes of fire, a smile that would chill the coldest breeze. He saw his father. He saw him in himself and it terrified him.

He just wanted to be alone and miserable. But things weren't going quite the way he had planned…

"Hey little bro…"

Cooper gingerly stuck his head in the door, a sympathetic look plastered on his face.

"How you holdin' up?"

Heavy as his eyelids felt, Blaine still managed to roll his eyes, a groan of annoyance escaping him.

"I'm fine Cooper", he replied flatly, "Just like I was five minutes ago when you asked me."

Oblivious to his younger brother's annoyance, Cooper stepped into the room and plopped himself heavily on the side of Blaine's bed. As he proceeded to lean across his brother's exhausted frame, he pulled out a blue and red packet from his jacket pocket. Blaine kept his head buried in his pillow hoping that by ignoring Cooper he would get the message and leave him alone. He quickly came to the realisation that this was Cooper and he probably wouldn't get the message even if it were sticky-noted to his forehead. With a defeated sigh he lifted his head from his pillow to find the older man grinning at him like the cat that got the crème.

With his triangular brows knitting together, Blaine spat "What?"

Cooper held up the packet in his grasp excitedly, pointing at it while exclaiming, "Red Vines!"

Blaine shook his head meekly, squinting his eyes into a glare. "What the hell Cooper! Do you really think that sweets are going to help me right now?"

Cooper gasped, covering his mouth with his hand mockingly. "Blaine Devon Anderson; how dare you! Red Vines are not just sweets!" His voice went from a full booming tone to a whisper. Leaning toward his little brother's ear, he continued, "Red Vines are more than just sweets."

Cooper drew back, unimpressed by his brothers lack of enthusiasm. "Well, excuse me for trying help." With that, he proceeded to get up off of the bed. Heading for the door, he let an over dramatic whine pass through his lips, a whine that caused Blaine to roll his eyes, again.

"I'm sorry" Blaine sighed, "I'm just… I'm upset. And I haven't slept in days and I can't eat and I just.. I want to go back in time and make it alright." With that, the tears Blaine swore he wouldn't shed all came falling down in bucket loads. Crouching over, Blaine put his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking.

"What have I done Coop? I've fucked up so badly! I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry."

Cooper shoulders slumped slightly, a pang of guilt stabbing at him. His little brother was falling apart right in front of him and he hadn't been exactly all that comforting. Cooper knew what Kurt meant to Blaine. That was why he was more than a little surprised by what Blaine had done. Cooper couldn't really judge Blaine all that much though; _he_ still didn't know why Blaine had cheated. It was a very un-Blaine like thing to do. That's why everyone was so shocked by it; and angered. It was no secret that Kurt had friends that would take a bullet for him – Mercedes and Rachel being two. But Cooper knew that the person that hated Blaine the most right now was Blaine himself. That's what led Cooper to believe that what Blaine had done wasn't out of spite or because he wanted too, it was more like a rush of blood to the head.

"Blaine, with all due respect, I'm not the one you cheated on. Kurt needs to know you're sorry. And, he also needs to know the truth. The only way you're going to feel some sort of release, is by trying to make it better."

Blaine wiped stray tears on the back of his hands, trying to calm himself. Looking up at Cooper, his eyes tired and bloodshot, his voice breaking, "Don't you think I know that? I've tried! I've sent him flowers and I've called him. I've texted him and emailed him. I even sent him a Llama!"

"A real one?"

"No, stuffed. The postal service wouldn't fly a llama via airfare and he was too big to fit in the postal van."

Cooper sat back down on the bed, swinging an arm around Blaine's shoulders; he pulled him into his hold.

"Blaine, you've got to go see him."

"He won't even speak to me. Do you really think he's going to answer his door and welcome me with open arms? I'll be amazed if I don't get last season's patented ankle boot square in the face."

"And you'll deserve it."

"I know that!"

A harsh silence fell upon them, sitting there staring at the ground. Blaine shuffled on the bed, feeling the need to get something off of his cheat.

"Would you forgive me?"

Cooper dragged his eyes from the floor to look his little brother in the eyes. A sad smile grew on his face.

"No. But I'm insufferable. Kurt isn't me, and that's the point. Blaine, you can ask everyone you want – Gandhi, Jesus, hell even Sheldon Cooper couldn't help you now. You need to ask Kurt that question."

Blaine hated admitting it to himself, but Cooper was right. He had hurt Kurt in an unforgivable way; he had broken the trust of the man he loves the most and asking everybody else for their opinions wasn't going to get him away. It sure as hell wasn't fair to Kurt either. He should be the first and only person he asked and spoke to about this.

"I'm sorry I was acting like a jackass. I'm just really miserable right now."

Cooper flicked Blaine behind his ear playfully, receiving a chuckle from the younger man.

"It's just… I don't know what I was thinking. I was so alone and lost. I was terrified of losing Kurt to his brand new life. But that's no excuse for what I did. I've hurt him so badly. I'll be lucky if he ever speaks to me again, let alone, wants to rekindle what we had."

Blaine paused for a few seconds, gathering his shaking breath.

"To think, a few weeks ago, I was almost about to propose and make him mine forever. Now, I might have gone and lost him forever."

Cooper hummed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck roughly.

"He hates my guts right now and probably thinks that all of my love for him and us has disappeared without a trace; if he only knew the truth. I wish there was some way I could show him the commitment I was about to make to him. The commitment I wanted to make for him. Now, it's looking more and more likely that he'll never know and I'll have to live with that for the rest of my life."

Cooper coughed uneasily, mentally fighting with himself on whether or not to tell Blaine the truth. Feeling he had no choice, he began, "Not exactly."

Blaine's head rose slowly from its slumped position, his eyes burning a hole in Cooper's face, now facing forward, afraid to look Blaine in the eye.

"Coop…" Blaine wavered, "What did you do?"

Cooper's eyes darted from side to side, swallowing a lump in his throat.

"Well" he began with a squeak, "Remember when you were trying to figure out exactly what you were going to say to Kurt when you proposed?"

"Yes…"

"And remember how you wrote it down on a piece of paper and hid it in the pocket of your old Dalton blazer where you thought I wouldn't find it but I eventually did?"

Blaine's eyes were bulging from their sockets as he continued to stare at Cooper, fuming at what he was hearing.

"Well, I might have – and it's only a might… I might have put that piece of paper in that box of stuff you sent back to Kurt."

Blaine's bulging eyes turned into a fearsome glare.

"Did you…" Blaine's voice reduced to a snarling whisper.

Cooper tried to answer but his voice was all but gone. He recoiled slightly, turning towards his brother and swallowing slowly, he nodded slowly.

Blaine wanted to grab a really big mallet and smack Cooper's head into oblivion. Because that wasn't exactly possible, he settled for his second option.

"Cooper!" He screamed, launching himself at his older brother, grabbing a firm hold on the scarf around his neck.

"He had to know, you said so yourself!"

"I'm going to kill you!"

"Hey! Don't take your anger out on me! I'm your brother!"

"You're an idiot!"

"Yes… But I'm still your brother!"

**A/N: Reviews are huggles! **


	3. Chapter 3

Kurt lifted his head from his hands, his eyes strained from staring at the chucky silver band in front of him, a single simple white diamond shone brilliantly from the centre of the ring, reflecting the light shining above his head. Anyone who knew Kurt would assume he would be less than impressed with such a 'modest' ring, but the truth was – it was utterly perfect. Kurt was known for his outside-the-box choices in apparel and accessories, but in Kurt's eyes, this ring symbolized everything that was their relationship – subtle, sophisticated and most of all – precious. He had fought a little with himself on deciding whether or not to open the box in the first place but curiosity had gotten the better of him. He wouldn't dare to take it from its box though; all he allowed himself to do was to stare at it. He really wanted to, but a voice inside of his head kept telling him no, and he went with his gut instinct.

Another thing that had made Kurt's heart swell about the ring was how it had Blaine written all over it. It was humble yet beautiful with little or no effort at all.

Kurt was so entranced by the shining piece of jewellery that he failed to hear his father come up the stairs and enter his bedroom, where he sat at his vanity table.

"Hey kiddo" his father chirped, removing his worn faded baseball cap. Kurt, slightly startled, turned sharply on his chair, pushing the little black case behind some bottles of hair products. "Hey dad" he smiled, swallowing harshly to quench his quickened heartbeat. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, Carole just wants to know if you'd like to go shopping with her for a little bit. She needs to pick out a dress for that shin-dig she's going to on Saturday and she says she needs your expert judgement." Kurt pursed his lips, holding back a quiet laugh in expense of his father's age old vocabulary.

"Dad, I love 'the-days-of-old' as much as the next guy, but shindig is a little _too_ outdated, don't you think? Never-the-less, there are two elements of that sentence that can claim to be my kryptonite – a shopping trip with a purpose and my step-mother. Tell her I'll be down in five minutes."

Burt smiled warmly. Kurt and Carole had a wonderful relationship, even before she and Burt were married. And what pleased Burt the most was the fact that Kurt didn't like Carole because he 'had' too, but because he wanted too and there was really nothing more he could have asked for. Before he turned to leave, Burt's expression turned serious once more.

"Kurt?"

Kurt turned back toward his father, a bottle of hairspray tightly in his grasp.

"Yeah dad?"

"Is everything okay? I mean, with the Blaine stuff. How are you feeling?"

Kurt, placing the bottle back down on to his dresser, heaved a sigh.

"I've stopped crying, if that means anything." Burt nodded knowingly. He knew more than anyone how Kurt felt about Blaine. Hell, even Burt himself loved Blaine like a son. He was a great kid, unfortunately though, emphasis had to be placed on the word 'was'. Burt couldn't comprehend it when Finn had told him what had happened. Blaine was such a perfect gentleman – and it definitely wasn't an act. It was just how he was. Burt almost always got a kick out of watching Blaine and Finn interact. Blaine always spoke in such a polite and charming manner, a manner that confused the hell out of Finn. And while Kurt would sit shamelessly gaping at Blaine, Finn would just sit there and stare at him like he was from another planet.

"Well, you know if you want to talk, I'm right here. I know I'm not exactly educated in the whole gay love.. um, department, but I understand what loss feels like. And I'm here."

Kurt wanted to point out that his father's choice of words had a slight undertone of morbidity to them, but he decided against it; instead he settled for, "Thanks dad."

"You're welcome. Just remember, worst comes to worst, I have a shotgun."

"Dad! You're not going to shoot Blaine."

"I'm just reminding you! Besides, I wouldn't shoot the kid. I'd scare him… Graze him at the worst."

"Dad" Kurt pointed towards the door, a small smile playing on his face.

"Fine, just remember - I love you." Kurt smiled up at his father warmly. "Love you too dad."

With that, Burt headed out the door, pacing down the stairs and into the kitchen where Carole was putting the finishing touches on Burt's lunch. Stepping toward her, he placed a kiss on her cheek taking the plate from and sitting down at the table, which had been set for one.

"Give him five minutes to do whatever the hell he does to that hair of his, and he'll be down." Carole playfully smacked Burt's shoulder, her gentle touch barely noticeable.

"I asked him about Blaine." Carole turned on her heel, causing Burt to snort a laugh. Although she refused to admit it, Carole adored the relationship between the two boys. Her heart was almost as broken as Kurt's when Burt had told her of Blaine's wrong-doing.

"And…" she quirked, motioning for her husband to elaborate.

"He wouldn't give anything away. He just said he's stopped crying, if that means anything?"

Carole smiled sadly, placing her hands on Burt's shoulders. "They're going to be just fine."

Burt leaned his head back to stare up at his wife, placing a hand on hers. "What about that thing they say about your first love? You know, how it doesn't last?"

"They also say your first love is the one you never forget."

Just as Burt was about to answer, Kurt trod down the stairs, adorning a completely different outfit, fixing a few stray strands of hair into place.

"I'm ready when you are." Carole smiled warmly at him.

"Just let me grab my purse."

Kurt nodded quickly, heading for the front door, "I'll be waiting in the car."

Blaine hated shopping.

Okay, so that wasn't exactly true. He loved to shop, but now stepping into a department store was like stepping into a house of horrors. Everything reminded him of Kurt. Every item of clothing he saw was greeted by a voice in his head saying, "How great would Kurt look in those jeans?" "Wouldn't that shirt go great with that baby pink knit cape Kurt brought a couple of months ago?"

He was driving himself insane.

Artie, however, was completely unaware of Blaine's inner conflict and was more than a little annoyed with Blaine's lack of enthusiasm towards helping him find the perfect gift for Brittany's upcoming birthday.

"Dude… Blaine? Blaine!"

Blaine was too busy staring at the floral print scarf hanging on one of the display mannequins. It was the same one he had brought for Kurt a week before he left for New York. He wore it to the airport the day he flew out and it looked so good on him, the natural colours of the scarf standing out so well against his snow white skin. He was dragged out of his daydream by Artie poking him in the stomach with a clothes hanger.

"Hey!"

Blaine squint his eyes, casting them downwards to meet Artie's less than impressed glare through his thick framed glasses.

"Sorry, did you say something?"

Artie rolled his eyes, placing the hanger back on its railing, wheeling himself around to examine another stand.

"Not that I really want to know what you're day dreaming about, but could you please focus for, like, two seconds? With Kurt in New York, you're all I've got."

"You know, not all gay guys are into shopping? In fact, that's actually quite stereotypical."

"…Says the gay man infamous for his extra tight brightly coloured corduroys, bowties and crocs with no socks."

Blaine took a second to look over his ensemble, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Way to break the stereotype."

Blaine narrowed his eyes at the smug look on Artie's face.

"Gee, thanks friend" Blaine mocked, sulking past Artie toward the ladies section.

Parking the car in the second level of the multi-storey car park, Carole turned in her seat to face Kurt.

"Kurt, I have a confession to make."

Kurt stopped fiddling with the seatbelt and looked up at his step-mother, a curious expression on his face.

Taking his silence as a motion to continue she explained, "I brought you here because I wanted to get you out of the house. You haven't been out of your room in days and we were starting to worry. We wanted to talk to you about it, but we felt it wasn't really our place to stick our noses in your love life, so we thought getting you out in the fresh air was the best idea. I hope you're not mad, sweetie?"

Kurt just smiled simply, a twinkle of affection in his eyes.

"I don't mind at all. And, you're right. I need to get out for a while. Thanks Carole."

Reaching across to pull his step-mother into his embrace, he rested his chin on her shoulder lightly. Pulling away, Carole presented him with her credit card.

"Now, you go and buy yourself a few nice things."

Kurt looked down at the rectangle of plastic, hesitant to take it from his step-mother's hand.

"Go on, enjoy yourself."

Finally after a little deliberation, Kurt complied, smiling freely for what felt like the first time in months.

"Thank you… Mom."

Carole pursed her lips tightly, a flicker of elation in her eyes.

"You're very welcome. Now get out before I change my mind."

Kurt shook his head playfully.

"You murdered out moment."

Hopping out the car with a slight spring in his step, Carole felt a small hint of self-pride wash through her. She mightn't be Kurt's mother by nature, but it felt like Kurt was her son, and she wouldn't even dare to deny the happiness that feeling brought her.

Drumming her fingers along the steering wheel to the tune she hummed quietly to herself, her eyes darted toward her watch. Kurt had been in the store for a good fifteen minutes and she had already gotten several picture messages from the boy of various items of clothing and pictures of Kurt's one true love – scarfs. She was delighted to see Kurt finally smiling some sort of genuine smile again.

Hearing her phone beep again, she reached over to release it from her handbag, her gaze falling on the automatic entrance and exit doors of the department store, eyeing the various shoppers coming and going with their various sized bags and shopping cart loads of groceries. Noticing a very familiar figure slowly walking out of the exit doors, his shoulders slumped, head bowed, she couldn't help herself but to coo forlornly.

Carole knew how it felt to be cheated on. Before she had met Finn's father, she was involved in a two year relationship with a guy she had met in college. She was absolutely head over heels about him, thinking that he was 'the one', and it was that infatuation that blinded her from seeing the truth. He was a complete tool. He was having so many affairs on the side; she couldn't count them on both hands. He didn't care about her, and he certainly didn't lose any sleep when she ultimately left him. She had to learn heart break the hard way, and it was through that, that she knew what Kurt and Blaine were going through was a cause of heartbreak that wasn't developed through spite; it developed more through a misunderstanding of how difficult long distance relationships could be. Blaine was lonely and felt isolated, Kurt was busy and engulfed by his new life in New York City.

It was plain to see that both of them were as miserable as could be without the other. For teenagers, they had a beautiful relationship which, to Carole and Burt's surprise, was built on a very traditional and almost 'old married couple' territory. It was adorable to see a young relationship so healthy and not built upon just the physical side of romance. They're relationship had a heart and soul to it.

Carole made up her mind, and without a second thought rolled her window down.

"Blaine, sweetheart, over here."

Blaine caught sight of the silver SUV, Carole's smiling face peering through the open driver's window. Straightening his posture as only he knew how, he sauntered across the walk way to back row of cars where the SUV was stationed, clutching the strap of his brown leather satchel for dear life. Mentally, he was preparing himself for the worst; a tongue-lashing at the minimum. As difficult as it would be hearing Carole tell him off, he hoped and prayed that Burt was nowhere near, he really couldn't handle that right now.

Upon reaching the car, forcing a small smile, he stood facing Carole's casually sat appearance and bowed his head.

"Yes ma'am?"

From the back seat, Kurt scoffed quietly; typical Blaine, always so courteous.

"Blaine, since when exactly did you start calling me 'ma'am'?"

Blaine took his chance to look up and caught Carole's amused expression.

"I'm sorry, please, just say what you have to say and be done with it. I can handle it."

Kurt felt the need to punch the seat in front of him. Even when Blaine wasn't trying, he could _still _make him feel so guilty. Carole, on the other hand, looked almost upset at Blaine's dejected manner.

"Blaine, did you think I was going to tell you off?"

Blaine meekly nodded in response, his eyes softening to their usual puppy dog form.

"On the contrary, I wanted to know how you were. Burt and I haven't heard anything from you since your trip to New York."

Blaine was silently thanking his heaves she didn't stay 'since you're break up with Kurt'.

"I didn't think you'd want to hear from me. In fact, the last thing I thought you want is me hanging around."

It couldn't be humanly possible to hate and love a person all at the same time, could it? Because that was the only way Kurt could begin to describe what he was feeling at that very moment. On the one hand, he wanted to jump out of the car and punch Blaine square in the face, while on the other hand, he just wanted Blaine to stop sounding so utterly repulsed of him.

"Blaine! You can't think we'd just neglect you like that! I thought you knew us better than that."

"It's not that, it's just, after – after what I did, I thought – I was sure you'd both be glad to see the back of me. I did such a horrible thing and I – I hurt Kurt _so bad_.."

Blaine tried in vain to abruptly blink away the tears that were threatening to fall but choked a sob in defeat as they spilled down his face.

"I'm sorry" he apologised, furiously rubbing his face with the sleeve of his cardigan. "I've developed a habit of making a scene lately."

Carole cast her eyes downward, where her fingers where mindlessly fidgeting with the material of her blouse, giving Blaine a few moments to gather himself again.

Clearing his throat, Blaine sniffled harshly, running a hand over his gelled hair.

After a few moments Carole heard Blaine whisper.

"Carole? How is Kurt?"

Carole sealed her eyes shut. This was the question she was hoping Blaine wouldn't ask, though she should have known it would come up eventually.

She hated lying to him, but she knew she had too. When Kurt was ready to talk to Blaine, he would do it on his own terms and not hers.

"He's… he's doing as well as can be expected. He calls us most days."

"…Is he coming home for Thanksgiving? No, that's none of my business, I'm sorry for being so nosey."

"Stop apologising for everything, Blaine, it's okay. We're not sure yet, he still hasn't decided."

Carole tried telling her guilty conscious that she wasn't lying, exactly; Kurt _still hadn't _decided if he was going to stay for Thanksgiving or not.

"Oh, right."

Silence fell upon them once again, until, like before, Blaine broke the silence. If Carole thought she felt bad already, that was just the tip of the iceberg.

"..Um, does – does Kurt ever talk about me?"

Carole cast her eyes upward, internally cursing. Turning to Blaine with her most sincere face possible, she motioned for him to give her his hand. Taking a hold of it, she replied.

"Blaine, do you really want me to tell you what he says?"

Blaine already knew what to expect with that question, but it still felt like a punch to the stomach.

"No. Not really."

Hoping to change the subject, Carole, still holding Blaine's limp hand in hers asked, "How are you Blaine? Anything new going on with you?"

Thinking for a moment, Blaine shook his head gently. "Nothing that's worth talking about."

"Okay… What are doing for Thanksgiving? Spending it with your family I suppose..?"

Again, Blaine shook his head.

"No, my parents are out of town."

This caught Carole's attention like nothing else, especially as her motherly-intuition started acting up.

"Blaine, where are you parents?"

It was as if Blaine had suddenly been possessed by a completely different person. Pulling his hand back from Carole's immediately, he said, "I've gotta go. I'm sorry. Um, homework and all. Thanks for talking to me Carole. Happy early Thanksgiving."

Carole's stomach twisted nervously. She had for some time suspected there were things about Blaine's family life that he was less than inclined to share, and with Blaine's reaction to that one simple question left no doubt in her mind that that was the case.

"Happy Thanksgiving, Blaine."

Watching Blaine step away from the car and back onto the car park walkway, her anxiety subsided as she watched Blaine turn around to face her again.

"Carole?"

"Yes?"

"Um, he probably won't even care, but, next time you're talking to Kurt, could you tell him I said hi? And that I miss him terribly."

Carole chewed her bottom lip trying to hold back the tear-jerking feeling bubbling up inside of her.

"…Sure."

"Thanks."

After almost two hours of browsing the various stores, Kurt ventured out of the mall with a few bags in either hand. A satisfied smile adorned on his face. Placing the bags of different sizes and colours into the trunk of the car, Kurt slid back into the front seat of the car, handing Carole back her credit card.

"Have fun?" Carole smiled playfully at him.

Nodding swiftly, he handed Carole a small bag.

"A thank you."

"Kurt!"

"Don't open it until we get home, I got Dad something too."

Placing a soft peck on his pale forehead, Carole sat the bag in the glove compartment, sliding the key into the ignition.

"Thank you honey."

"Think nothing of it, you deserve it. Wow, I was two hours?"

"Yes. But you're father's working at the shop today so; it'll be our little secret."

"Thanks" he replied with a chuckle. "So, do anything fun while I was gone?"

Carole gripped the steering wheel a little tighter, her smile slowly fading.

"No, just… _reminiscing_."

Glancing up from his phone, Kurt smiled genuinely. "Cool."


End file.
